Saturday, May 7th I ran the Tough Mudder at Mount Snow in Vermont. I love competing, I love races, and I love getting dirty, but this isn't your average race - or even your average mud-run. Most races are timed, but not Tough Mudder - it's all about teamwork and camaraderie. Dont get me wrong, it takes strength, stamina, and mental toughness to compete in this event, but you need your team behind you. And my team was made up of seven strong. 5 tough chics, and 2 guys (they were tough too...).
The morning started off as it usually does the morning of a race - water, coffee, bathroom. Breakfast, bathroom. More water, bathroom. Get dressed, bathroom. You see a pattern here, right? Happens everytime. We arrive at Mt. Snow and the energy in the air is electrifying. If I remember correctly, the temerature in the air that day was 56 or so degrees. We were told the water would be between 39 and 42. Brrrrrrrr! Nervous energy everywhere, people warming up their bodies, stretching their muscles, and getting ready to go. We pick up our packets, sign our Death Waiver (yep, you read it right), pin our numbers, get our bodies marked, and duct tape our sneakers. Then of course, go to the bathroom. We walk around the base of the mountain to check things out, and see an area where they are giving mohawks and/or tatoos if you dare. However tempting, I, and the rest of my team decided to pass. Our wave was at 10am, so a little before that we headed up to the starting line. After the Pledge of Allegiance, we recited the Tough Mudder Pledge, which went a little something like this:
As a Tough Mudder I pledge that…
* I understand that Tough Mudder is not a race but a challenge.
* I put teamwork and camaraderie before my course time.
* I do not whine – kids whine.
* I help my fellow Mudders complete the course.
* I overcome all fears.
Onto the course we go! The first challenge - The Braveheart Challenge... first running downhill, then up, into air filled with water from the snowmaking machines. Fantastic, we're wet right away! Then the Death March, basically continuing to climb Mt. Snow. At this point, I would say we were running a little bit, and walking some. The conditions of the ground were pretty muddy, and had patches of snow here and there. Once we get to the top, there's a water station with a line...my teammates wait, while I go pee behind a tree. :) Onward to Killa Gorilla...an extremely muddy area that you had to trek up and down 4 times. Devils Beard...cargo nets that were low to the ground, so they had to be held up while you went through them. Boa Constrictor - narrow, dark tunnels that we had to crawl through. The tube started out dry, but as you crawled through, you crawled into a body of muddy water, so this was the first obstacle where we got really wet, and kind of dirty. If you felt cold from the water, not to worry, you were climbing right back up the mountain, where you're sue to warm up again! Next obstacle is Tires - just like they do at football practice. Then Tree Hugger, where we do a little scrambling climb through rocks and woods. Here is where they have a sign that reads: "If you were doing Warrior Dash, you'd be done right now". The Tough Mudder people like to poke fun at the WD peeps quite a bit. Another water station at the top of the scramble, then we move on to Ball Shrinker - this was the best....you've seen this before - hold on to a rope above your head that other people are also holding onto, so it swings back and forth. Below your feet is another rope, which, if you were smart enough, you figured out to let that one go and just pull yourself with your arms. Well, the rope gets lower in the middle because of all the people on it, so your body gradually starts going into the water - the very cold water. Hence the name, Ball Shrinker. Of course we head back uphill, and through an obstacle they called the Mud Mile, which was just a muddy hill, much like the rest of the mountain. We approach Kiss of Mud, where we have to crawl under barbed wire in a mud pit, then onto Hold Your Wood... grab a log, carry it uphill, then back down. Head around the corner to run uphill again, and this time when we came down, we got to Hey Bales, where we had to jump over giant bales of hey. If you landed in the middle, there was a giant hole which you dropped ino. Onward to Evil Kenival, which was another one I really enjoyed - a half pipe that you had to run up and catch the lip at the top. When you did, you pulled yourself up and over to the other side, where you had to repel down a rope. Off to Spider's Web we went, where we climbed up, then back down a cargo net, which if your team did not hold steady for you, moved all over the place. Now - you guessed it - back uphill to the "Mystery" obstacle, which before the race was topic of speculation. Some were thinking because we were in Vermont, it would be maple syrup related. Others though it was a bath of hot sauce. What it turned out to be was Fish & Chips - yet another body of water you went through, to crawl through wood chips, under a low, narrow cargo net. I guess cargo net is a lot cheaper than maple syrup or hot sauce. The most terrifying obstacle of all was Walk the Plank. As we approach it, there's a sign that says "Water is 45 degrees. Do not jump if you are not ready" We have to pull ourselves up an angled wall with a rope, probably 15 to 20 feet. Once at the top, we jump into water, then have to swim to the exit. When I hit that water, it took my breath away. It was so cold! And you went so far under because of your heavy, muddy shoes, it scared the crap out of you! I get out, and pee while I wait for my teammates. :) I would say from this point on, our whole team pretty much stayed cold. We were off to running through the woods, maneuvering through rocky, muddy water, then to Underwater Tunnels, where there were 3 "tubes" of water that you had to go under and into the water - each tube getting closer to the top of water so that you had to go under even further. This body of water was pretty gross, as the smell of manure filled the air. I was told that, and hope that it was, sulfer. Off to the Glacier we go...when we get there, the line is ridiculous, and they announce that for anyone waiting, you can skip it. We did - and only because we were SO cold, and the line was so long. So, down the hill and back up we go through Gauntlet, where we are being sprayed by an evil guy with a fire hose, who was taking way too much pleasure in his job that day. And if that wasn't enough, the snowmakers were on here too, and not that it mattered at this point anymore, but the ground was extremely muddy. We start decending to Blood Bath, which was 3 dumpsters filled with ice cold, colored water. You had your choice of red, green or blue water to submerge yourself into. On to Funky Monkey, which were wicked monkey bars - some were greased, some rolled. I wouldn't know much about them because I fell almost immediately. I think I made 2 or 3 bars. Sad, I know, but I couldn't even get a grip on the bars because my hands were so cold, and it just felt impossible. So, I dropped into the lake, which was absolutely the coldest body of water of the day. Off to the Berlin Walls we go, where we have to work as a team to get over 12 foot walls. We make the first one, feeling pretty confident as we get to the second on. After two attempts at that wall we bail, because it was really muddy by our feet and we kept slipping. We did however, make it over the third wall to redeem ourselves! The next callenge we face is Tower Hurdle, where we have to climb over chair lift poles. Then onto Fire Walker...trekking through a narrow path surrounded by four foot walls of kerosene soaked straw. At this point, we were thinking we were done with the climbing because the last five obstacles were at the base of the mountain, but noooooo...up we go, to Turds Nest, a cargo net that we had to crawl across - or roll across, like our team did. Another favorite, Greased Lightening - a giant slip and slide. It was awesome, and if you were going fast enough, you landed in a nice little pond at the bottom - just in case you weren't wet enough to get through Electroshock Therapy. This was the grand finale...run though an obstacle of live wires. Good times.
After crossing the finish line, you got a free beer and the Tough Mudder head band. I was shivering so much my beer was spilling all over the place. After changing into dry clothes, we got some food, some more beer, and some shots of Patron. Definitely worthy of a celebration. I am a Tough Mudder.
Intense! Great job! That was one well earned beer.
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