I'm a Warrior, I'm a Tough Mudder, I'm a Spartan. I just can't get enough of these mud runs! The most recent one I did was the Spartan Sprint, in Tuxedo NY on June 5th. The Sartan Sprint is a 3 mile course with some challenging obstacles. It was kind of a last minute decision to do it - I had done the Pawling Triathlon the previous day, but I figured what the heck. The only person I could drag along with me on this one was my good friend Chris. When I asked her if she wanted to do it, I also asked her if she'd be ok doing it by herself, because I wanted to race it. Being the good sport she is, she signed on for it. The morning of the race, I went online to check the top female finishing times from the day before to see what I was up against. 58 minutes. No problem....I can beat that. :)
Unfortunately, things didn't turn out exactly how I had planned. Long story short, we were 20 minutes late to the race. We were in the last heat of the day, scheduled to run at 12:30. When we finally arrived at Tuxedo Ridge, I ran as fast as I could - uphill through the parking lot, and leaving poor Chris behind (she caught up, don't worry) - to find the race director to beg him to let us run it anyway. He was kind enough to let us do it, but we couldn't get a timer chip or our bib numbers because registration was closed. So much for racing it...oh well, at least we could do it. I asked him what time it was, and we were off. Start time: 12:47
There was no easing into this race, it was balls to the wall from the get go. It began with going UP a ski slope, which seems to be a common denominator in these types of races. I started out with a light jog, dodging rocks, boulders, and crevices. We made it through the first few obstacles - the over-under-and through walls, the boulder pull, and the balance beam with very little difficulty and were loving each and every minute of it. Then the eight foot wall appeared in front of us, along with a photographer. We definitely played the sympathy card with every photographer we saw throughout the race... "Can you take our picture please...we were late and couldn't get bib numbers" (this is how they identify you for pictures). I figured if we weren't going to have official finishing times, we might as well try to get a lot of pictures!
Back to the course....my strategy for the monster wall was to have Chris sit in a wall squat while I stood on her legs, and pulled myself up over the wall. I strattled the top of the wall while she put her foot on the tiny foothold that was about three feet off the ground. She grabbed my hand and I pulled her up until she could get both of her hands on top of the wall to pull herself over. Mission complete!
It seemed we were doing pretty well as far as time was concerned...we started "chicking" plenty of people. Chicking is a term the Spartan people came up with to describe a girl passing a guy on the course. We started the race 23 minutes late - it didn't matter to me who we were chicking - guys, girls, whatever....I was totally psyched to be catching up to, and passing people!
One of the most challenging obstacles on the course at this race was the Bucket Brigade. We were instructed to fill a Home Depot five gallon bucket 3/4 full with stones and carry it up what at that point seemed to be a giant incline, then back down. Total distance was probably a quarter mile, but it was pretty torturous. I started out by carrying the bucket like I was hugging a tree, with both arms wrapped around it, thinking that having the weight evenly disributed would help. It didn't. So I decided to switch back and forth between my arms for a bit. That didn't help either - this is just a HARD obstacle. Now my legs are starting scream, and I have to stop for a few seconds. As I muster up the energy to get up that damn hill, I decide putting the bucket over my head and holding it with both arms is now the best option, and it's working for me. I lift my head up to see where I'm going and now my view is not only this giant mountain, but a girls who's ass cheeks are hanging out of her shorts. God bless. I have to pass her....it's too distracting, and not really what I'm interested in looking at, especially as sweat is pouring into my eyeballs. I make it to the top only to start my descent with caution. There were a couple of missteps and slips because of rocks and stones that were scattered all over the ground from what I'm sure was from people dumping stones out of their buckets. Cheaters!!
We didn't have too far to go to get to the next obstacle - the Sleigh Pull. This was straight out of Medieval times, and I was cracking up as we approached it. Someone, or several someones, had the brilliant idea to put a milk crate filled with sand bags on top of two rickety old wooden skis, attach a rope to it, and have the competitors pull it around in a giant circle. Just before reaching the end of this circle that went uphill for a minute, you went through a path of fire. Just in case you weren't hot enough.
Time to trek back up hill, through the woods, back down and up again only to conquer the Zig-zagging Balance Beam and the Soapy Wall. I quickly scaled up the soapy wall without using the rope to pull myself, only to be yelled at by a 20 something year old girl for not going right up the middle of the wall. Obviously she didn't realize how smart I was by not running up the soapiest part of the wall. With age comes wisdom! Onward and upward to the Wall Scale - where we were again more concerned with pictures than time - and the Spear Throw. Yes, I do live in the suburbs of NYC, but no, I don't get much practice throwing spears up here. You're only given one chance, and if you fail, you do 20 burpees. Once again though, we played the sympathy card and begged for another shot, only to suck again and have to do those burpees. As much as I love burpees, I was glad on this day that this was my only burpee obstacle.
Next up was the longest mud crawl I'd ever seen - and it was UPHILL!! This was unlike any other mud crawl I've ever done. It was the muddiest, wettest, rockiest, mud crawl to date. I felt like porky the pig as I rolled and crawled around in this muck. Oh, and don't let me forget to mention the barbed wire that was floating just above your body. Big asses beware - keep it low! You know the saying though, right? "happier than a pig in shit" - it was a blast! And we even got to pose for a couple more mug shots as we went through. Finally making it to the top, I stood proud, pulled up my capris and marched on through a trail of boulders that were to be navigated through carefully because of wet, muddy, heavy feet. After clearing the trail and coming out the other side, I stopped dead in my tracks to see another crawl - only this time it was through ice. "Are you kidding me?" was my first thought, then, "ok, I'm feeling a bit warm, so this might even feel good". Yep, it did...for about 2 seconds! Good thing this crawl was down hill and not up, because I literally rolled through it as fast as I possibly could, which if I do say so myself, was pretty fast.
All that was left was a quick down hill run, a Fire Jump and the Spartan Gladiator Pit! Ah, the Galdiator Pit.... handsome, six-pack-ab, shirtless twenty-something boys holding on to pugil sticks...I'm thinking this was a better way to end the race rather than the empty calorie free beer!
It turned out to be a great experience to share with Chris. It took us 1 hour, 12 minutes, but we stayed together and posed for pics every chance we got. Hey, if I wasn't placing, I may as well get some good pictures, right?
Next mud run, the Warrior Dash in August (also 3 miles). Then, the Spartan Beast on Staten Island (8 miles). I plan on redeeming myself - first by leaving extra early to get there on time. Then by kicking ass on the course! Anyone care to join?!?!
No comments:
Post a Comment